Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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