Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
