you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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