Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Boobs are out for the taking
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
This toilet bowl is my home.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
