So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
