he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
