My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
