have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
4 words: hood of his car
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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