Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
