Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
