And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
