It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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