If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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