that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
