Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
