And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
