how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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