My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
