my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
