I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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