ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
