i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
