i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
