He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
