RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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