it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
