I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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