Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
