It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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