I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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