my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Barsexuality is the new black.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
