let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
