I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
