I need help removing her.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
