What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
