After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
