U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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