My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
