What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
