Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
