nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
