I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
