We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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