frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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