Kiss
Puke
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
