my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
