Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
