3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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