This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
