Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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