he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
