I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
