just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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